They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends.

I hope it’s Michael – he’s super cute.

Tried having sex for the first time yesterday but I came far too early.

I was waiting in the park for ages before it got dark.

Why do people think that Jesus is coming back?

It’s not like he was nailed to a boomerang

Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?

That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s Furniture Emporium…

I’m really worried about my Parrot.
He keeps saying, “I can’t go on, I hate my life”.

My room-mate’s too selfish to notice. He’s always crying.

When the wife died, it was months before friends and family finally rallied round.

They saw I was a mess… no sleep, weight loss, bloodshot eyes, unlaundered clothes… They wrote me a note:

“Steve, you’ve got to stop partying!”